A Purple Haze

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Maybe one day I can replace those dashes with actual names. For now, lonely place holders. No more time wasted, it's time to get back to our weekly overtly, long winded reading event!

I went to a Philosophy Club meeting this week. I really enjoyed it, albeit a lot of the stuff going over my head. I felt that everyone was really well read on the subject, and I just happened to green horn my way into a meeting just to listen. It was really fun, though. Of course, thought provoking questions were asked.. and asked.. and asked. Which is the fun part of philosophy I suppose. Never really a definite answer, but a dimly lit light to seek out your own truth. You can quote me on that.

The meeting itself was about 'cultural relativity'. When the topic came up, nothing really came to mind. However, when the other club members started participating, my mind was slowly spinning faster from all the insights. I could get into the topic here, but that would be a whole post in of itself. I implore you to try going to a meet one day; the whole thing opens up a horizon of thought not normally ventured.

Something else I've been really into lately is Dagashi Kashi. I'm not sure what I like about it even; it's a show about various candies and how they play with them. On the surface anyways. Anything deeper, it'd be a pseudo romcom? The show so far hasn't show any kind of advancement with plot, though.  I like it so much that I'm reading the manga now, what the hell is going on here. Get out your economical whips, for I am a slave to marketing.

Another show I've decided to try out is Beyond the Boundary. Kyoto Animation lend its distinct style, the show is actually coming to be one of my favorites I've seen this year. They could definitely chill on making Mirai super 'cute-sey', but the story is very well paced, although the separate arcs could be a tad longer. The characters fill a trope in almost satirical way, which really lends itself with the humor. I am half-way with this series, as of now writing this I am on episode eight. I may or may not finish this tonight, as I do have other things to do; but I feel that when I eventually finish it, I'll seek out this series in different forms of media. In other words, I really like it so far.

I love this so much.

Other than that, I've decided to pick up a new game. Picked it up a couple of weeks ago and finally got to trying it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you this three year old game! That's right, it's Final Fantasy XIV! Good guess reader. Only a few years late to the party, my love for this game has blossomed like a flower two or three years late for the season. Having played for about a week now, I'm sitting on a level 21 or 23 Marauder. I've never played a tank before, and I wish the game told me it was a tank class, but tanking is surprisingly fun. In dungeons, it's like you've chosen yourself to be leader, and I know I'm stating the obvious role here, but it's really exciting setting the pace for a dungeon. I've been invited to a Free Company called Sapphire Guard, and so far the community has been tops in this game. The only thing that annoys me is content locking through questing. Other than that, it's a blast. The two or three of you reading this, please join me.

And that was my week in a nutshell. Thank god, it was much shorter this time around, usually I'm burnt out by the time I reach.. eehhh.

I'll touch on something a bit more personal, too. Lately, stress has been a common topic in my head. Stress from school. Stress from work. Stress from living at home with the parentals. Stress stress stress. The way I cope with that stress is usually through hobbies like gaming and anime, or through my own creative freedom. Inserting myself into what I do is almost a form of escapism, I'm embarrassed to admit. I kind of hate putting that stuff on here, but I promised myself this thing, and anything else I choose to create, would be a sincere reflection of myself and the going-ons within my creative thought. With that said, I just wanted to type down what I think/feel for just a few lines, if you don't mind. I won't hold it against you(a lot) if you close the page and look at porn or something instead. Actually, I'd prefer it if you don't look haha.

I hate the way things are right now. My hate stems from anger, and anger usually stems from fear. What am I afraid of? A lot of things. But mostly losing control. I spelling will deter from here on out, so please try not to mind it. (wasn't that great in the first place) What scares me the most is the future. Lately, I've been shaken. My plans, I fear, might or might not come to fruition after all, and I'll end up at a dead end job. My boss and a lot of other people show me that going to school is sort of pointless. And I'm scared. Scared that I'm not getting the respect I deserve. I work too hard at my workplace, and at times when I feel like I'm being stepped on, I feel the victim mentality coming in and anger whelms me. I hate it. I'm scared. Scared of time passing by. There are scarier things than monsters, I've found out, and you can find it really close by.  I'm doing the best I can, but things just never seem to go all that well. My trust lately has been trampled on. Friends, coworkers, family even, it's amazing. I'm finding it a little harder to trust people, and to face this is something that is truly depressing.

I'm sure many people feel this way. I'm not alone at all. On the bright side, I could be way worse off. I could be dead, but I'm alive. I'm alive to feel all these things, and this can only amplify this feeling. Being sad is how your body tells you you're alive. I've felt the dread of almost dying on a few occasions. It feels like absolute abandonment. Even so, we just have to buckle up for the ride and carry on. Smell a few bed of roses. You don't have a lot of time to do so.

And that's it. I'm sorry to be really depressing. I hope you look up cute, funny pet videos after this. 

Actually, I owe it to you.

Goals:
*Applied for a scholarship. yay

*Looked into a few exchange programs. It costs to apply. Yippee.

*Practiced guitar at home. Reminds me, I should do that today as well.

(x)Did not get to do any vocal practices. I was a little busy, but shoot :(
*Looked up on starting a band. I have an idea on what I want to do.
(x) Did not go for any runs. I was super lazy, but damn.

Next week:

*Finish Beyond the Boundary

*Read the Growth Guide (for what? secret ;) )

*Look into applying for Virginia University, possibly apply

*Finish first quiz for my USHist2 class

*Record and release another video
*Go out for 2 runs

And there we have it. Might update my goals for this week if I remember something.
As always, with much love, thanks for reading.
Love ya.